We live in a culture which has devalued and mangled the first gift ever given to humanity: Marriage. In Genesis 1:18, God says, "It is not good for man to be alone": so He fashions Eve to be the wife of Adam. The first gift ever given to humanity was the depth of relationship found only in marriage. Yet our culture has chosen to misuse and abuse this gift by making divorce, not only common and accepted, but actually expected. We have elevated cohabitation (Living together as boyfriend/girlfriend) as acceptable, if not more acceptable than being married. We have evolved our view of marriage into a homosexual union. We tax married couples at a higher rate than if they were single. I wonder what twisted version of this wonderful gift from God will next arrive from the dark recesses of our culture. The manner in which we have handled this gift shows our total disregard for the generosity and love of God. We have taken that gift and degraded it into something which allows us to pursue whatever passion and lust is in our hearts. The problem is not a political problem, nor an ethical problem, nor is it a societal problem: The problem is a spiritual problem and the main culprit is the Church. In the past twenty years, the Church has had the same amount of divorce as the rest of our culture (Although that has radically changed in the past eight years as divorce among those involved in Church is dramatically less than our cultural rate). The Church rarely speaks about divorce or cohabitation and the effects of these upon marriage because we don't want to offend anyone attending our congregations or in leadership positions. And so, the Church has ushered in the twisted form of "marriage" which is in constant flux in our culture today.
Genesis 1:24 gives us all we need to know about marriage: "For this reason, a man will leave his father and more and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh". Everything we need to know about marriage is found in this passage. One man + one woman + For life = Marriage. Who should be married is stated plainly. The timing of sexual intimacy ("one flesh") is stated plainly. The length of the marriage is implied. However, for many in America today, this has become too restrictive, while others seek to use bad exegesis of the Bible to justify the alternatives listed in the first paragraph of this blog.
Now, before you think I'm going all political, please know that this has nothing to do with politics. Politicians in America can define marriage any way they would like, but that doesn't change God's definition of this wonderful gift. Voters in America can vote to define marriage any way they would like, but that doesn't change God's definition of this wonderful gift. Religions can redefine marriage in any "inclusive" language they would like, but that doesn't change God's definition of this wonderful gift. In America, the Constitution guards our freedom to actually be able to do this. So I'm not here to bash or affirm any political point.
Here's my point: The reality of America is that we(As a culture) have adopted misguided and unBiblical expressions of marriage. This is just a fact. However, I chose to be a rebel. I have made a decision to be radical in my life and be viewed as an obscure relic, closer link to dinosaurs than enlightened, modern humanity. On July 16th, 1994, in front of over 400 family and friends, I made a covenant with Leah Boggs. I told her that I would be her husband for the rest of our natural lives. I told her she could count on me to be with her through thick and thin. I let her know that I valued and respected her too much to live with her without the covenant of marriage. I let her know that divorce was not an option for me. Eighteen years later, I am even more committed to her than I was when we first got married. I'm not in a rush to age, but I look forward to growing old with her. My covenant with her is not decided by the evolving whims of modern man, but by an unchanging hold on the first gift God gave to my ancestors. I have chosen to honor God and His Word more than my own desires, which makes me a bit of a rebel in America.
Lest you believe our marriage is perfect and I am the perfect husband, you might want to check with Leah. To my own shame, I have hurt my wife. I have said things that were mean. I have gotten upset in the heat of the moment and have argued with her. I have been stubborn and unwilling to listen. I have been busy with my own things and not given her enough time. I have been so busy with the boys that I haven't dated her as often as I should have. The list could continue for a long time, but you get my point. There have been numerous times along our journey of marriage when either one of us could have quit. But here's the amazing thing: I married a woman who has the same rebellious attitude that I have about marriage, maybe even more so. I married a Godly woman who is seeking to honor the vows she made to God in front of over four hundred family and friends back on July 16th, 1994. That is why we are celebrating eighteen years of marriage.
I am so glad I chose to be a rebel. If you want to know the most fun day of my entire life, it was the day I got married. My bachelor party was the night before our wedding, an evening of uninterrupted basketball with close friends. I spent the night before my wedding with several of my close friends and had an adventure before even getting to the church. My youth minister from my teen years flew out to Honolulu to perform our wedding ceremony. My brothers, their wives, my sister, two cousins and an aunt had all flown out for this event. My best man and another groomsman had flown from the mainland to stand by my side. Waialae Baptist Church was filled with many friends who had touched and continue to touch my life. I will always remember when the rear doors opened and Leah walked into my view for the first time on that day, escorted by her Dad. I can still see her beautiful smile and remember thinking to myself, "I have got to be the luckiest man alive". I soaked up those moments and enjoyed that day more than words can express. It was the most fun day of my life. But that was just the beginning. Eighteen years later, Leah's smile still radiates straight to my heart. She knows me better than anyone else and has been the greatest encourager of my life. She has listened to me grumble, held me when I was hurting and forgiven me when I have failed. She has loved the Goslen family as if we were her own. She has seen the good in me when I could only see the ugly. She has prayed for me and been the one who has helped me grow the most in my faith. She has defended me when others were thrashing me. She has been my best friend, my lover, my business partner, my confidant, my collaborator and much, much more. We are two rebels on an adventurous journey together for as long as God allows.
Maybe the life of a rebel isn't so bad after all. How about you? Feel like being a little rebellious? Then value this gift of God and honor Him in how you handle that gift!
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